Shortly after, I left that job I loved at the hand of dollar signs an elaborate promises, only leaving me with grief, sadness, and this feeling I had lost my purpose in the world. After much deliberation and mental dismay, I left my new, high paying job, terrified of the future, grasping on to the only thing that had been a constant throughout my life, which was of course, exercise science.
The reason that I went to grad school in the first place was simply because I owed it to myself to at least humor this whisper of a calling that’s always been in my mind. At the time I thought (and still do), almost everything in my life has come from this desire and passion to understand how and why our bodies respond to exercise and nutrition.
When I got home, I changed this website to what it is now. I was terrified of the future with this notion of how little direction I actually had. It was a shot in the dark and since that day, I’ve spent most of my days questioning if it was the right move. I had these delusions of what would be necessary for success and when they didn’t pan out, I searched high and low for a scapegoat to blame even though I simply needed to step in front of a mirror.
Much of this frustration has come from uncertainty and fear. In the landscape that is our media, it’s hard to put yourself out there. In the fitness world, people are viscous and I’ll be the first one to admit that ignoring the opinions of names on a screen are easier said than done. I’ve spent much of my time in this venture afraid of people. Afraid of putting myself out there. Afraid of actually trying to make a difference. Afraid of listening to the voices in my head.
On New Beginnings
Recently, I came to a realization that this website wasn’t my vision. I turned it into some an outlet to make money and somewhere along the way, I lost what I had built nearly half a decade ago.
When I started this website as optimal-living 6 years ago, I’m not even sure why I started it to be honest. At the time, I was motivated and hungry and exercise science just interested me. I never wanted to be a personal trainer, but I knew that there was some aspect of this industry that I was drawn to. Something about learning these complex ideas fascinated me. To be able to begin to hope to understand the complexity of the human body and the fact that you can manipulate the stress you place on it to change it how you desire, was just too good to pass up. Further, I've often considered myself to be quite blessed with an inkling of an ability to write. It's one of the few things I feel good about doing, and it allows me to provide information to others that they might not have otherwise received.
That’s the spirit of this website, even if I haven’t conveyed that properly. But it’s going to change. A few weeks ago, I made the decision to delete Boss Strength. It’s not happening yet, but it’s coming and to be honest, I’m fucking ready.
Next month, I’m going to be unveiling my new website: Muscle Science Academy.
Muscle Science Academy is going to take this website back to its roots, which is education. While I never knew the exact purpose of this website, I’ve always known that I wanted it to be a platform for free expression and exploration of the unknown. It’s my vision that this website will foster the minds of tomorrow to make this world a little stronger and healthier. It’s my vision that everyone from a beginner to an established scholar will be able to both use and contribute information on the website.
Truth be told, I never wanted this to be mine, but rather a resource for everyone to make himself or herself a little better and a little smarter. And really, that’s what I’m hoping comes of it. It’s my hope that with this new website, you’ll have the ability to learn from as many perspectives as you can imagine.
At the end of the day, I don't want you to come here because you feel obligated or because I'm trying to get money from you. This website is for you to learn. It was always supposed to be and from here on out, it will be. If people happen to give me something in return, so be it, but it's not expected.
On My Future
The idea to scrap a years worth of work is one that has weighed on me heavily, but one that was necessary. In order to truly build what I had envisioned, this was the only way. I’m not angry and I’m not concerned about the time wasted, simply because it wasn’t. It got me here, which by all measures is much better situation than a year ago. Will this be my major contribution to the world? Will it just be my first? Will it fail, again?
Maybe, but quite frankly, it’s one of the first times I’ve ever been excited about something that isn’t a sure thing. Heck, I have no idea if any money will ever come of this or if I'll get a single contributing writer. But that’s okay. Money was never the point and I'm a firm believer that if you're genuine and put out great work, most will recognize that. Overall where I’m going with this, I wanted to announce my new beginnings, simply because I was tired of waiting. But I also wanted to use it as an example for yourself.
I’m only 26 years old. Truth be told, I don’t know shit about the world or life, but I like to think that knowledge is growing. What I can say is that I took a leap of faith on something I wasn’t even excited about and things turned out alright.
Stop waiting and succumbing to the fear that you’ll fail. It’s so fucking cliché but by god is it true.
Whether or not I’ll make a serious contribution to this world, really I don’t know. But I’m sure as hell going to try and I encourage you to do the same if you have the ability. Fear could literally be what’s standing between you changing the world and living a mediocre life of regret.
Who gives a shit if you fail because chances are, something new will come along, or you’ll win.
Jump first and learn to fly on the way down.